We Did That? Read online

  Dord: Insert Definition Here

  New words are coined every day. Sometimes by the minute—just watch one of Saturday Night Live’s “Guy Who Just Bought a Boat” sketches. Or hit up Twitter. People can be so creative.

  But in 1934, there was an instance when a word entered the lexicon completely by accident. In that year’s Webster’s New International Dictionary the word dord appeared on page 771. How did this super random word get published? Well, you might not know this, because you probably don’t read the dictionary on the reg, but the dictionary includes abbreviations for words too. Not just the actual words. (So, for example, in the L section, you could find the abbreviation lb. for pound). The writers were attempting to establish an abbreviation for the word density, which, according to the note left for the editors, could be abbreviated with the letters “d or D.”

  The problem is, this note got placed in the “words” pile instead of the “abbreviations” pile, and the spaces were mistakenly removed from “d or D,” giving us the made-up word dord. It wasn’t discovered until five years later that this word had no instances of usage, nor etymology. Dord was quickly removed from Webster’s New International Dictionary, but has occasionally appeared in other dictionaries that have a laxer, “Guy Who Just Bought a Boat” approach to wordplay.

  Chile Gets a New Name

  Typos, as we have seen, can cost money. But they are usually not on money. There are only so many words you can fit on a bill or coin. What, like five words max? Still, someone managed to accomplish this against all odds.

  In 2008, Chile’s national mint manager, Gregorio Iniguez, approved the minting of hundreds of thousands of new coins. They were beautiful. They were shiny. They were perfectly round. But there was one problem…they spelled the country’s name wrong. Stamped on these coins was C-h-i-i-e. I’ll give them a break. When it’s in all-caps, the missing L isn’t that noticeable if you’re not looking too closely. If you’re kind of squinting.

  No one noticed the typo until about a year later. The embarrassment was too much for the higher ups, so Iniguez and several others responsible were fired. But hey, the coins are now a collector’s item! So if you ever visit this lovely country (where my family is from!) keep your two eyes peeled for two I’s.

  Why Spinach Means Iron

  When you ask yourself how you can get more iron in your diet, I’ll bet your mind goes directly to spinach. You aren’t alone here! We mostly owe Popeye for this food stereotype, obviously, but there is another reason why “iron = spinach” is so ingrained in our minds.

  In an 1870 German study that examined the iron content of spinach, the chemist Erich von Wolf accidentally put the decimal point too far too the right. Instead of reporting that spinach had 3.50 mg of iron, it was instead printed as containing 35.0 mg of iron—ten times the amount it actually has. As Popeye would say—oh my gorshk!

  Unfortunately, the damage was done, and generations grew up with this connection in their minds. Almost sixty years after von Wolf conducted his study, spinach’s high iron reputation became even more cemented into our human psyches when Popeye made his 1929 debut. It’s still quite the nutritious veggie, make no mistake. But just not as nutritious as fame suggests. You’ll just have to get Popeye’s big guns by other means!

  A Case of Mistaken Isledentity

  The Island of California

  Yes, you read that right. The state of California was once thought to be an island! For over two hundred years, it was depicted on maps as a separate land mass. How did this happen? When Spanish sailor Fortún Jiménez landed on the southern coast of Baja in 1533, he mistook the entire state for an island. If you do a quick search and look at Baja on a map, you’ll see that it juts out at the southern tip of the state like a proper peninsula. So his error is understandable. Remember, they didn’t have Google Maps back then. Just actual, paper maps. Oh God, you do know what those are, right?

  This is, by far, one of the most famous “map errors,” and lasted for over a century! In early 1700s, a Jesuit priest led an expedition across the Gulf of California, and reported his discoveries, and his doubts about its “island” status. After more research, by 1747, King Ferdinand VI of Spain finally decreed that California was not an island.

  The Lost Isle of Hy-Brasil

  Hy-Brasil, an island known by many names, sits about two hundred miles off the western coast of Ireland. Or does it? Some say it is imaginary, and consider it a legend like Atlantis or Avalon. It supposedly was always shrouded in mists like Avalon, and appeared only once every seven years.

  The name of the island has Celtic origins; the word Breasal translates to “the High king of the world,” and the term breas translates to “fortunate,” which is why it’s also commonly called “Fortunate Island.” But, unfortunately, most expeditions that set out to find it never reached the island.

  The few who did claim to have visited it all had similar experiences. Many claimed it was paradise on earth or “the promised land.” Tales of Hy-Brasil describe abundant health, gold-roofed buildings, and rich citizens. Sounds nice! Despite major doubt of its existence, it was even drawn on maps for hundreds of years. It appears as early as 1325, all the way to 1865, when it quite literally falls off the map.

  We humans like to solve mysteries, though. Recently, researchers have found submerged landmasses near the rumored location of Hy-Brasil that very well could have been islands. So, it’s very likely that it was, in fact, a real place! The rising sea levels and geographic shifts in this region are probable culprits for its disappearance.

  As you see on the map, Hy Brasil appears right next to the hoof of

  the animal, as an almost-perfect circle.

  Sandy Island Phantom

  One of the most recent oops! moments for maps occurred in 2012, when researchers on the academic ship Southern Surveyor found only open water where an island was supposed to be. Specifically, Sandy Island. Since the eighteenth century, this island was drawn on maps just off the coast of Australia. But as the researchers approached the place where the island was supposed to be, all they saw was water. It was nowhere to be found.

  What happened to Sandy Island? The water reached over a mile deep, so it didn’t just get covered by waves. Foregoing the popular Atlantis theory, which is unlikely, given the extensive research of the sea floor, the most likely answer was that it was never there to begin with. There is one theory that French sailors spotted pumice—a light foamy rock that forms after volcanic eruptions—and mistook it for an island. These large rocks can remain the water for years, hence the repeated mapping of this nonexistent island. But it’s not exactly the sexiest theory…so, if you’re like me, you can just keep on creating more exciting possibilities in your head.

  Tax Money Down the Drain

  Governments have no shortage of reasons for charging taxpayers—and, apparently, no shortage of bizarre reasons for spending the money either. Here are some fun and creative ways your hardworking wages have been flushed down the toilet with gusto.

  »Shortly after the bombing of Pearl Harbor, a dentist named Lytle Adams hatched a wild plan. Since bats instinctually dive for cover in buildings when they’re out in the open, Adams came up with the idea to fasten actual bombs onto live bats and release them over the targeted territory. A time-delayed fuse would ignite once they were settled in their shelter. He submitted his idea to the US Army Chemical Warfare Service. They tried it out. In order attach the bombs safely, the bats were forced into hibernation via refrigeration. Not many of them thawed out in time, or when the bats were released the bombs were so heavy they couldn’t fly, and just thumped to the ground—a total failure. The cost of this idea: aside from the mistreatment and murder of many bats, 2 million tax dollars.

  »If you’ve ever driven on a highway, I’m sure you’ve felt the slight twinge of nervousness when a large truck encroaches too closely. Will it be like in the movies, and suddenly t
ilt on its wheel, and collapse on my car? What…is that just me? Anyway, The Federal Highway Administration spent $222,000 to study “Motorist Attitudes Toward Large Trucks.”

  »You can now get your dose of culture and history by visiting the Trenton, New Jersey sewer system, which the Environmental Protection Agency spent 1 million dollars preserving as a national monument.

  »How long does it take you to cook breakfast? Ten to fifteen minutes? Well, the US Department of Agriculture wanted to know for sure. So, they performed a $46,000 study to find out. Answer?: An average of 37 minutes.

  »The Institute of Museum and Library Services provided a $150,000 grant to The Oregon Museum of Science and Industry, which funded a workshop to determine if gingerbread houses were earthquake-proof. The 2016 workshop was called: “How Does the Cookie Crumble?”

  They Failed at That?

  If there is one industry fraught with rejection at every angle, it’s the book publishing industry. Oh wait. It’s the film industry. Oh wait…

  Rejection and failure are everywhere. Here are some teeth-gnashing examples of initial failures that eventually led to successes. But, if you are an aspiring author, actor, musician, or artist…rather than feeling dejected, take heart. These instances all show that if you’ve created a brilliant work of art, if you believe in it and remain determined, you’ll succeed. As the popular saying goes, “You can only fail if you stop trying.”

  Books

  George Orwell, Animal Farm

  This would end up being a double rejection, though the editor from Faber & Faber publishing didn’t fully know it at the time. He wrote the following about Animal Farm: “We agree that it is a distinguished piece of writing… On the other hand, we have no conviction…that this is the right point of view from which to criticise the political situation at the present time.” (Referring to England’s alliance with the Soviets.) “I am very sorry, because whoever publishes this, will naturally have the opportunity of publishing your future work: and I have a regard for your work, because it is good writing of fundamental integrity.” He was correct. And that “future work” would eventually include 1984.

  JK Rowling, Harry Potter

  The first Harry Potter manuscript was rejected by several literary agents, and at least twelve publishers if not more, before finding its home. When JK was asked about sending out work, she simply replied she always tries to “write better than yesterday.”

  Dr. Seuss & Co

  Theodor Seuss Geisel certainly had imagination. He authored dozens of bestsellers like The Cat in the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham. Unfortunately, not many editors possessed the same imagination when he first attempted to publish. His first book was rejected by over twenty-five publishers. Since then, his books have collectively sold over 600 million copies.

  Film

  »Before President Ronald Reagan became president, he had a twenty-eight-year acting career. But he was once rejected for an acting role in the 1954 movie called The Best Man. Why? Because they claimed he didn’t have “the presidential look.” I think, eventually, someone thought he did.

  »A promising young actor auditioned for Universal Studios in 1959, but was rejected. Their reason? “You have a chip in your tooth, your Adams Apple sticks out too far, and you talk too slow.” They were referring to Clint Eastwood.

  »Sidney Poitier was born prematurely, and not expected to survive. His prospects in acting seemed just as slim, even within Black theater circles. When he first auditioned for the American Negro Theater, he was told to get off the stage and go get a job “in a kitchen.” To the angered director, Poitier’s heavy Caribbean accent was too thick, and he misread his lines. With practice, Poitier worked on his craft, and eventually became the first Black actor win the Academy Award for Best Actor, after being twice nominated. He went on to win numerous Golden Globes and BAFTAs.

  Music

  »U2 was rejected by RSO Records in 1979, the rep saying they were “not suitable for us at present.” The next year, they released their first international single “11 O’Clock Tick Tock,” and the rest is history!

  »Ignacy Paderewski, who eventually became Prime Minister of Poland, as well as a talented musician and composer in his own right, was always told his hands were too small to play piano. Paderewski went on to become one of the greatest concert pianists of all time.

  »Decca Records rejected the music of a boy band in 1962, saying “guitar groups are on their way out.” The band in question? The Beatles.

  »Enrico Caruso became the most celebrated (and highest paid) Italian opera singer in the early twentieth century, but was always told to forget about opera, because he had a voice that sounded like “wind whistling through a window.”

  Science

  »Sir Isaac Newton was initially fated to be a simple farm boy. His mother took him out of school at about the young age of fifteen to work on, and eventually run, their farm. This was a pity, since after an encounter with a school bully, Newton started to excel in school as a way of besting his rival by becoming the star student. Newton fared terribly as a farmer. He was completely disinterested in the work, and failed at it. Finally, his mother put him back in school. He then went on to attend Cambridge University.

  »Throughout his early life, Charles Darwin was considered an average student. Most of his family were scientists and doctors. His father hoped he would follow in his footsteps, but even the sight of blood made him queasy. His father then suggested he become a parson instead. Luckily for us, Darwin preferred to observe and study nature. This unusual calling fell slightly within the family precedent, as his grandfather was a renowned botanist. Despite being an average student in the classroom, Darwin was a successful student of life. His observations during his travels contributed to The Origin of the Species.

  »From a young age, Thomas Edison was very curious, often self-teaching through reading. However, when he was growing up, his teachers claimed he was “too stupid to learn anything,” and he was fired from his first two jobs for not being “productive.” He didn’t let this stop his curiosity and personal drive, however. There is no way to know if it was his very first invention, but he took out his first patent in 1869 for an electric vote recorder, to speed up the voting process. It unfortunately ended up being a commercial failure, and from then on, Edison vowed only to invent things the public would want. After this, it’s was only a few years, and a few patents later that Edison achieved fame for his phonograph invention in 1878. His next challenge: electricity. When a reporter asked him one day how it felt to “fail 1,000 times,” on his route to inventing the light bulb, Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

  Humans Say the Darndest Things

  Trouble with Numbers

  “The single most important two things we can do…”

  —Tony Blair, former British Prime Minister

  “I hope that history will present me with maybe two words. One is peace. The other is human rights.”

  —President Jimmy Carter, interview in Philadelphia Daily News

  “I tell you, it’s Big Business. If there’s one word to describe Atlantic City it’s Big Business.”

  —Donald Trump

  “Remember, there’s only one taxpayer—you and me.”

  —John Kushner, Calgary city councilman

  Judge: “What inspired you to make this invention?”

  Contestant: “Two words: nachos.”

  “We are trying to change the 1974 constitution, whenever that was signed.”

  —US Republican Representative Donald Ray Kennard

  “Half this game is 90 percent mental.”

  —Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager, regarding baseball

  Trouble in General

  “So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?”

  —Christina Aguilera<
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  “I’d like to start somewhere small, like London or England.”

  —Britney Spears, upon being asked if she would ever do a musical

  “The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But I didn’t live in this century.”

  —Former US Vice President Dan Quayle, 1989–1993

  “What is Walmart? Do they sell wall stuff?”

  —Paris Hilton, early 2000s, on her reality show The Sweet Life

  “I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion.”

  —David Beckham, talking about his son, Brooklyn

  “It’s okay to have beliefs, just don’t believe in them.”

  —Guy Ritchie

  “I think people think I like to think a lot. And I don’t. I do not like to think at all.”

  —Kanye West

  “We’re the country that built the Intercontinental Railroad.”

  —US President Barack Obama, referring to the Transcontinental Railroad